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2015: My Year from Hell and How God rescued me (Part 1)


It was never my intention to stop blogging, but life got in the way with twists and turns I didn’t know existed.  From major Strep throat in the spring, to a busy summer of work along with the worst reaction to medication ever in my life to the virus from Hell, I am ready for this year to be over.

Suffice it to say I have had literally the worst sickness of my life. After 2 doctor visits and many tests run the diagnosis was a virus. Don’t let anyone fool you into believing a “virus” is something simple to get over.  I have been in the bed for 6 weeks and still in and out of it, but getting there.  Top this all off with a kitten we adopted that in the first 6 months of his life has torn the house up!

One main reason for not blogging is the virus has made me so dizzy at times I can hardly stand up much less do anything else. As time has gone by, that is diminishing and I am so thankful to God for his healing.

The good news was all my tests were normal. Unfortunately, there is no medication for a virus or a quick fix. If there had been I would have been all over it. Believe me when I say I have never felt this bad in my entire life. To be writing this right now, is a major plus to say the least.  As Joyce Meyer says, “I am not at all where I want to be, but I am not where I was.” That is my theme.

On the other side of this miserable coin is the love of God. The fact my tests were normal is a miracle considering I thought they would hospitalize me to start with.  Forget driving, feeding myself or doing anything worthwhile; I have done nothing but rest. Doctors’ orders.

However, while resting my new GalazyS6 phone came in handy more than I can say. Not only is a copy/paste app the greatest comfort while one lies in bed but God’s words splashed all over it is truly the only way I got through this.  I was too sick to read from my Bible which I love to do but my phone became a positive substitute.

Hours of laying alone I have quoted healing scriptures over and over until I would fall asleep. Days and weeks of crying when I didn’t have the strength to cry God’s word gave me hope and peace. Minute by minute I discovered the power in God’s word simply by meditating on it. The more I soaked myself in God’s word even in a state of total lethargy, the words proved themselves to be true and work.

A simple few steps from my bed to the toilet I would pray myself there.

The energy to get to the kitchen for a few bites of food of which I lost my appetite completely God’s word gave me the strength to live off of bananas, toast and applesauce. I am small but lost 5 pounds the first 3 weeks I was sick. I can’t afford to lose weight.

Moments of sheer misery when the dizziness and nausea would come in like a flood, God’s word was all I thought about. God get me through this. God get me through this.

I just read Jennifer LeClaire’s article from Charisma magazine about the very issues of being in “hell” while others around you are complacent and misunderstanding of your pain. Of course she brought our dear brother “Job” into the picture who is a prime example of one who is attacked and beaten not only by Satan himself but those closest to him.

I am in no way subjecting my husband or daughter into this rigid scene of battle because God supplied them both for me during this time when I needed them the most. They have been my lifeline besides God.  But even in their case, correctly diagnosing my distress for so long has been difficult for them. There is really much to be said about “walking in someone else’s shoes.”

From God’s perspective, I believe his permissive will in allowing me to go through so many years of hardships has been to teach me compassion, empathy and love for those who are hurting. These last 6 weeks have opened my eyes to understand those in nursing homes, hospitals and sick in bed for long periods of time how they feel and the loss they experience. I can honestly say I know it for myself now.

If I hadn’t known for absolutely sure God wasn’t ready to take me, I would have been begging him to do so, but He has other plans. Even my dear friend in Christ, Larry Nevenhoven prophesied this to me which has given me much hope to move forward.  He also reminded me God’s grace is sufficient to get me through this. Well, I had to find out what that meant. And I did. Maybe not exactly what I wanted to hear while in a dungeon of despair and lifelessness, but evidently God did.

One would never imagine the call of healing yet, the one who is sick knows better than those well, what health is. God’s supernatural grace and power is the only reason for it all.

As I feel I am moving into a state of recovery I must admit during these last 6 weeks all I knew was God. Whether it be from desperation, misery or a pit of depression even in my weakest moments I was crying out to God.

I truly know now what it means when you have nothing else but God, God is all I need.

And it doesn’t hurt to have a phone that lets you play scrabble in between God’s words.



Does Anyone have a Bag of Sand? A really heavy bag of sand?

I believe the antihistamines/decongestants are getting to me. Maybe not. Aren’t we suppose to be an educated country?

English: transportation of goods by gunny bags...

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Lately I have come across some people from different venues who I would like to throw a bag of sand at. Now to make sure it works it has to hit them on top of their head so maybe it will really shake them up so they ask me,

“What are you doing? Why did you do that?” so I could respond by saying,

“Listen buddy, wake up! don’t you get it? you are suppose to be an educated, smart, intelligent human being? You must have missed the day God gave out common sense because you have none!” My fellow bloggers I am not speaking of you so don’t run away! We have to stick together here! We are on a mission!

I think people keep getting on the wrong elevator; you know the one they don’t have any idea where it is going?

You may be thinking: “ummm, what about her? who is she to throw sand?”

Let me tell you. I had sand in my eyes for so many years that is why I see others who still have it;  only they are older and suppose to be much wiser. This is experience people!

You know the saying I like to use, “I was blind, now I see?” well get some glasses. I did and then I saw all I was missing. really. I would find dishes I had washed that were dirty simply because I wouldn’t go get my eyes checked to wear glasses.  I think in Proverbs God calls that “pride?” That commercial about the woman who thinks she is climbing into a cab only it is a police car because she has no glasses? ok you get it.

Now I am not completely out of sand in my own eyes. Particles of it often get in them but I am quick to wash them out. Partly because I am allergic to dust but that is not my point here.

One of the reasons I started washing the sand out as often as possible was because I made remarks or stupid comments that I later thought were so embarrassing I wanted to use the sand to make a sand castle. I use to have a sand box when I was a kid. It was so much fun to play in; except when I couldn’t sit down the next day.

Anyway, you know that King Solomon in the Bible? You know the guy who had all the wives but was smarter than anyone? Well,  I decided I wanted to be  like him. NO! Not have the wives (I have never understood that part; how did he get away with that?)

I wanted to be wise; to speak with wisdom which is different from intellect. Not that I don’t have intelligence but don’t ask me ever to do any math.

So what did I do? I prayed and asked God for wisdom. Hours, days, weeks and months and years I have studied God’s word for wisdom. I hear you laughing like you are wondering when I am going to learn it? Be careful; there is more than one bag of sand here.

God spoke and told me: Luke 21:14-15 “But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves.  For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict.” That is it. It is so easy. When you let God speak for you, embarrassment ends up in the sand truck.

The problem with intelligent, so called smart people is they don’t know how to read the Bible! You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink it!

My point to this entire blog post is we need to pray for smart people. They maybe didn’t flunk out of Nursery school, but they are driving without the keys.

The keys are in the Bible and you can’t get that in public school these days. Fact is you can hardly get it in a Christian college! (the state of my Alma Mater)

God’s wisdom goes far beyond intellect and thank goodness how to add 2 +2. God’s wisdom gives you directions, a guide for life and vision to be able to put one foot in front of the other when your life is falling apart. You won’t learn that in a classroom today. God’s wisdom gives you a foundation of his words to use for those who don’t! As I just wrote that I have to laugh at some of the issues I have been reading about from friends in my life that I simply am asking, “what planet did you fly to after we graduated? or that you played too much without your helmet?

It really isn’t that hard folks. God has more wisdom to give us than we can imagine. For me, I want to be able to hear the Holy Spirit whisper in my ears the words of God in speaking his truth. The way to do that, is to read it. Study it. Meditate on it. Live it. Believe it. Then you can really “Spread the wealth.”

Well, I have to go now. I hear the sand truck in the driveway. You won’t believe how many bags of sand are in it.

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