So much for needing to add water to the pool.
I’m not complaining but some sunshine would be nice. It’s actually been dreary for about 2 weeks leading up to the holiday weekend when the skies unloaded.
The dreariness adds to the all-around mood of the world at large and especially our nation. Technology is great but add to it the miserable actions going on in the world and you’ve got a recipe for depression and discouragement.
BTW: are you feeling down yet? Have I succeeded in filling your mind with negativity?
In all of my life with its crisis and attacks I can’t remember when I have ever felt that literally everything seems to be falling apart. From my personal life to stepping outdoors to the nation and its political circus, the atmosphere is full of sadness, hopelessness and fear.
I am in the worst season of loss I’ve ever experienced. Hey, I know other people have been through much more hardships and difficulties than I’ve ever been through, but it doesn’t lessen the emptiness when it happens to you. Honestly, I don’t know how anyone lives without a closeness to God.
Now that I have established my forgoing miseries, my relationship with God has never been better. How could that be?
Well, he’s the reason I can get out of bed.
He’s the reason I breathe.
He’s the only way I am moving forward because looking back is simply too painful.
Years ago I would never have dreamed that my worst time on earth so far would spring into action by God himself as the forerunner for each moment. Yes. Each moment is only given to us by God. I now know what it’s like to live crying out to Him to get through the next moment and the next one after that. It’s a process of learning total dependence upon Him.
Believe me, I have not mastered this at all. The more I try and learn the more I know I don’t know. God has to be the author of patience because I am sure I am jerking His around. He has dealt with more of my whining, grumbling and bleating more than I would like to admit. However He does tell us to come with Him with everything so I let loose with a barrage of emotions I can’t even describe myself in the hopes He will.
To be very honest, I am weary of the constant pruning, refining and clipping. A few months ago God showed me this scripture which defined what He’s been doing with me for a very long time.
Isaiah 48:10 “See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.”
Well, God how much longer is this going to last? So much for me learning patience.
If God prunes or refines anything else there won’t be anything left of me. He has stripped me of everything I have leaned on, depended on or felt some sense of safe security. So guess what verse God gives me when I delivered all that to Him?
2 Corinthians 1:9 “Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.”
Yep. He wants me to completely and totally depend on Him.
Paul was announcing to the world that facing death led Him to lean on God.
My question now is, “God how did I get through so many years depending on anything other than you?”
To be continued….