First let me say my heart hurts over the loss of John Paul Jackson. Even as the Lord was placing on my heart to pray for him, I did not see this coming. God is passing on his mantle now.
I haven’t been around a while. Suffice it to say that while in my doctor’s office Monday, I told her “if I didn’t know for sure God was ready to take me, I would have begged him to.”
These last 2 months I have been sicker than ever before in my life. While the physical body I carry around was suffering to the point of becoming totally immobile, the devil decided to attack me with an overwhelming fear and anxiety. He is a coward and kicks us when we are at the bottom of the pit. However, he has lost.
I am recovering, thankfully to God and his great mercy, grace and his gifts of healing. I have had visions that by June I will be swimming. Hopefully this is the Holy Spirit, not my wishful thinking. But of course that will also be determined by getting our area out of this highly unusual deep freeze.
God has shown me what it feels to be completely homebound, unable to do much of anything for myself. I thank him for my husband who has been my cheerleader and errand boy. He is going through the part of our vows “through sickness.”
The list of lessons and truths I have learned through this last year are long. My doctor and I were discussing the “loss of control” that none of us want. Well, I know some of what that is like. God has allowed me to get to a place where completely trusting him was the best place to be and to stay there. We simply cannot move and have our being without him.
While in the midst of such terrible circumstances the pity parties were on my agenda. That began with the attack of fear which I will go into on another post. It is too important not to write about. God pulled me through and out of it in record time considering past experiences.
Truly humbled by God’s awesome power, he has embedded in my spirit the unlimited everything that he is. I am more convinced than ever this literal place called “heaven” is much more than we can imagine.
As I wrote previously; as difficult as this last year has been I have felt the presence of God’s hand and compassion walking ahead of me. His lap has been my chair; his arms have been my warmth. The fear I have felt has turned to peace. His words have been my comfort and joy and his love has pronounced itself as a trumpet blowing loudly “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
He has surrounded me. It’s all in the relationship.
February 19, 2015 at 11:50 am
He’s always there for us, Cathy. Feel all better soon. Love and hugs…
February 21, 2015 at 4:05 pm
Thank you Sheila!
February 19, 2015 at 11:53 am
I am standing in prayer agreement with you and thanking God for the strength he has given you, for this life he has given you – praying for comfort and peace!
February 21, 2015 at 4:05 pm
Thank you !
February 19, 2015 at 12:21 pm
I am glad to hear you are healing, God is good. I live alone and I have always had a fear of dying, which is just plain crazy for obvious reasons heaven is wonderful. But living alone has placed a new part of my life that I dislike so much having around. I have panic attacks. I am so in tune to how I feel I have attacks because I am afraid I will die alone here in my house. This is all crazy when I am sitting here writing to you, but when it is happening it takes all of my prayers and strength to get me through. I am not sure if this is what you are talking about but for me I hate them with a passion. Satan does this and I get so weak I allow it but God wins each time and I can get myself back on track. I just hate the weakness I have during and after them
February 19, 2015 at 1:03 pm
Yes Terry. That is exactly what I was talking about. There are plenty of verses about not fearing. Google them and read them out loud until it passes. Ask God to help you get rid of the attack. And you are not alone. Blessings
February 19, 2015 at 4:49 pm
Thanks so much. I will check and have a couple that I use
February 19, 2015 at 1:27 pm
We all have our personal struggles, which during spiritual battles are then magnified. None of us are immune because we are still wrapped in fleshly bodies. I pray that you are swimming soon.
February 19, 2015 at 9:31 pm
What a wonderful testimony to the power of God in your life. We have certainly missed you while you were away and look forward to reading your insightful posts frequently.
God DOES answer prayer!
ALL PRAISE HIS NAME!
February 21, 2015 at 4:06 pm
February 22, 2015 at 4:06 pm
Prayers, dear one. I have been down for over 2 years now. Had no idea we were both incapacitated. missed you!