Did Jesus have a Facebook Page?

Christianity 0ut of the Box

Groceries from the Garden of Eden


Garden of Eden, Lucas, Kansas, 2005.

Image via Wikipedia

Justification for spending more time than usual on my laptop today. The reason? I am trapped in my kitchen because the carpet police showed up at my door early this morning claiming my carpet was filthy, nasty and in desperate need of a major cleaning. Now that it is damp or still wet in places I have nowhere to go but this seat in front of my laptop at the kitchen table.

Are you judging me already? I did leave for at least an hour and a half and submerged myself in the land of groceries. My hope was that when I returned home the carpet would be dry. Sorry. No. So, I sat back down in front of the laptop again.

Allow me to drift off back into the land of groceries. Not my favorite place to be especially since I never attended cooking school. My shopping experiences with food is I get in, get what I need and get out. It may be a type of grocery claustrophobia. There are way too many choices and it makes me delusional. Why do they have to have so many different kinds of toilet paper and cat food? My cat is happy to find her meals in the backyard.

Having nowhere else to go and no friend’s front porch I could camp out for 8 hours I took my sweet time today. The nice customer at the banana counter talked me into buying some of the small bananas. She described them as “sweet and delicious.”

The cereal aisle reminds me of the local box factory. After studying the sugar levels, the prices and sizes I was dizzy from looking up. I felt discriminated against as usual being 5’1 and the cereals I just happen to like were way above my head. Reaching for the one I wanted I saw two women staring at me for leaving my cart in their way. Did they offer to reach my cereal for me? Could they not see I was too short for the top shelf? NO!

Example of an American grocery store aisle.

Image via Wikipedia

Being the nice, sweet child of God I am I stopped reaching for my box of cereal to move my cart out of their way. Frustrated, I jumped to reach the cereal and headed toward the checkout.

Almost to the check out register I remembered my poor husband’s aching feet. So I trudged back the other way to find some foot repair. Then I remembered my yogurt! So I walked all the way back down to the dairy department and stood in front of what looked like 100 different kinds of yogurt. Why can’t they just sell Greek Yogurt? Why do they have to have every flavor that came out of the Garden of Eden?

Choosing the Vanilla, strawberry, blueberry and peach I thought to myself, “I’m done.” “I’m going to checkout.” Of course every register but the self check ones were lined up with other unhappy shoppers. I ran to the empty self register, threw my groceries on the scanner, “placed my items in the bag” as the little computer woman yells and punched the cash button to pay for my goods.

Sliding the 20 dollar bill in the slot to pay went fine. So did the 1 dollar bill. Not the 5 dollar bill. It kept spitting mine out. I lost count of how I many times this annoying machine ignored my money.

I could feel my anxiety level growing as I began to scream at this machine for not taking my money. Hitting it didn’t help. What part of this machine would not want my money? I am a tax paying citizen but this register didn’t care.  No matter how hard I tried to stuff that 5 dollar bill in the slot it spit it right back out at me as if it were doing it on purpose.

Fortunately for the registers sake, the clerk came walking by. She noticed my face was full of animosity and politely asked,

“Are you trying to put a 5 dollar bill in that slot?”

“Yes, I am” wondering where she had been all this time.

“The registers won’t take them anymore. You’ll have to bring it to me.”

“What?” I yelled out. “The registers won’t take them anymore?”

“No, they don’t like the new mark on them.”

Looking at her rather strangely I asked, “You mean the register doesn’t like them?”

“No. It won’t take it.” she repeated.

At first I thought she was joking. Then I realized she was serious.

Handing her the 5 dollar bill, she gave me my receipt and said “thank you.”

Pushing my cart a little I turned around and asked her,

“Do you mean it is like the register has a mind of its own?”

She replied, “Well, yea sort of like that.”

A cash register with a mind of its own.

I couldn’t help it but I thought that girl is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

As if this wasn’t enough for one day, God decides to show up as I walk to the doors. Not physically, but with that little voice you know? The one that is always in your ear whispering things like, ” Are you proud of yourself? Do you want me to tell you how many people observed your little tantrum at the register? If they weren’t Christians, do you think they would want to be after your little performance in there?”

“Oh no God! not you too! (whining) Can’t you see what just happened in there? The machine was faulty. They haven’t changed it so it will work correctly.”

God: “I am not interested in the machine. I am interested in your attitude. BTW you have been whining all morning.”

What began as a usual day, a trip to the grocery store ended up in a lesson of attitude.

Philippians 2:5 says, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”

The Bible is clear we are not to complain or whine! Our examples to others may make all the difference in a person’s salvation. People are watching. They observe those of us who claim to be followers of Christ and how we act and speak. Having said that, we are chosen to leave a footprint of Jesus wherever we walk.

If we don’t, who will?

God’s classroom never ends. There is a desk there with my name on it.

Copyright @2012 “Did Jesus have a facebook page?”

7 thoughts on “Groceries from the Garden of Eden

  1. Satan likes to use the self check line to nail me. I get mad every time I try to deal with them.

  2. Wal-Mart alone is a missionary field worth mining. Ever go in there on Tuesday only to find out everything you saw in there on Monday has been moved to an undisclosed area of the store only accessible to those who march around the aisles seven times? I feel certain it is a TEST!

  3. Back in the days of my youth, the local A&P’s had long handled contraptions a customer or a clerk could use to reach boxes on the top shelves. Sadly, these modern fandangled grocery stores don’t have them anymore.

  4. Hi Cathy I think my face turned more then a shade of pink and I almost lost it when I asked the Cashier in Woolworths why she asked me if I wanted a receipt and she said to save paper, I had an instant flash back to the heaps of junk mail I receive from many stores every week including Woolwoths … I took a deep breath and said you have got to be kidding and then smiled as I drove off into the sunset on my Mobility Scooter very sure I had just left the loony bin!

    But don’t knock Walmart Cathy, don’t you know what they do ? amazing check this out…..

    Blog Post – http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2011/10/26/the-walmart-cat/

  5. I love this. Thank you again for your wit and musings that entertain and enlighten.

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