Did Jesus have a Facebook Page?

Christianity 0ut of the Box

All I Wanted Was Some Yogurt


Here we are the day after Christmas. It seems normal again. Not sure if that is good or not but it is what it is.

Español: Un Wal-Mart remodelado en la Ciudad d...

Image via Wikipedia

My list for a trip to Wal-Mart was ready even with my unwillingness to go. It is not my favorite hang out. Shopping there is out of necessity only.

In the back of my mind I thought, “I wonder if there are lines of people bringing presents to exchange?”  To my surprise, there weren’t many. In fact the store was not that crowded. Christmas must have been successful.

If Wal-Mart wasn’t over loaded with mundane, dissatisfied  customers who wanted to exchange that awful sweater for an even uglier pair of pants, Santa must have done his job despite the economy.

Now I want to complain.

Even though a flood of shoppers had not invaded the store, Wal-Mart had set up a rack of clothes a mile long in one of the aisles. Considering the large green carts and the in-considerate customers getting around this unsightly block of pajamas was like surfing in Nebraska.

Weaving in and out between colors of green, red and yellow I was drowning in a sea of smelly flannel. Memories of yesteryear flooded my intellect. My mother who was an excellent seamstress when I was a child made me go to the local pattern and material store so she could sew clothes  for money.  The minute you walked through the door you experienced a maze of every possible color God created. Along with the many shades and hue’s was a stench of fresh, new fabrics. Ugh. It made me sneeze and my eyes watered uncontrollably.

I am highly allergic to dust which I found out later in life. New fabric lends itself to excessive lent which is often accompanied by dust.

Fearing a recurring fit would invade my nose, I darted around people, carts and children. No one seem to care that I was running for my life. How do you explain to a bunch of after Christmas bargain hunters that I needed to escape this cataclysmic heap of flannel?

All of a sudden I found myself locked in a claustrophobic trap. People were not moving. Blocked in by screaming kids, carts full of more flannel, and displays of cosmetics I wanted to scream “let me out of here!”

Now this is where a Christian attitude should kick in. Instead of staying calm and peaceful, I stood there waiting with what I am sure was a face of impatient disgust. Did anyone care? No!  The bargain hunters wandered through the rack of pajamas cluttering up the pathway of the aisle keeping those of us disinterested in flannel from going about our shopping business.

In case you haven’t  figured this out, I don’t enjoy shopping; at least not anymore. The reasons why are for another day.

After a few more moments of blocked traffic I yelled, “EXCUSE ME!”  That got their attention. They moved out of my way.

Yoghurt and raspberries

Image via Wikipedia

Rather please with my authority I rode off into the free world of pet food, yogurt and sweet potatoes. Feeling free without watery eyes I went through the check out and left.

On the way home I thought, ‘hmmm, is it me or are people in general in-considerate?” Was I wrong for expressing myself in such a vocal cord?

No, I think there are many people who just aren’t wired to code. Their antenna’s are pointing in the wrong direction.

They are about as bright as a burnt out 20 watt light bulb.

Maybe I will suggest they ask God to  help them become one of those 60 watt light bulbs I wrote about yesterday.  If they insist on blocking traffic in the women’s underwear department of Wal-Mart, at least they could be a shining light for God while doing it.

Copyright 2011 Did Jesus Have a Facebook Page, All Rights Reserved

9 thoughts on “All I Wanted Was Some Yogurt

  1. I feel for you. My eyes and nose don’t care for dust nor shopping! 🙂
    God Bless You!

  2. I am so glad I stayed home today. My spouce works in retail and — “No, I think there are many people who just aren’t wired to code. Their antenna’s are pointing in the wrong direction.” — he could so tag on that one. lol It trully can be a challenge to shop when people around you are zoomed in just their purchase alone and are not aware of others in the store. Glad you made it!

  3. hello blogging buddy, I wanted to let you know I nominated you for the Candle Lighter Award. visit me and no waiting in any lines or dealing with any flannel anything, just cut an paste! just come get it…lol.. God bless my friend.-WATW

  4. One of my favorite all-time lines was spoken by Steve Martin in the movie, Father of the Bride 2, when he fell asleep in the wheelchair and was ushered into the doctor’s office for a proctology exam. Eventually, he wakes up, figures out where he is and runs out the door, saying, “Well, excuse me! Do I know you?”

  5. Haha. I dread shopping for this exact reason. I often find myself praying for patience in crowds.

  6. I had to go to Walmart yesterday to get something for my computer, and the one near me was rather quiet also, and the employees were actually working rather than standing around talking on their cell phones. Glad to see people were satisfied with their gifts and employees hard at work. 🙂

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