The Grave of Love

I cannot sit through the “Passion of the Christ.”

God must have known not to bring me into this world when his death actually happened.  He knew I couldn’t even watch the movie without falling apart.

Cover via Amazonworld when Jesus really died.

Today, knowing so many years ago our Savior was crucified hits me hard. Imagining how much he suffered and the pain he experienced weighs heavily upon my fragile heart.

Reading testimonies of how Jesus has touched lives and they have been changed is why he was born in the first place. How unbelievable is that? You are born specifically to save everyone else. Grabbing hold of such conviction extends far beyond anything natural.

Years ago when I first realized why Jesus was born I was stricken with questions.

“Was it really true? Did God really do this?”

Not long after understanding the wonder of the most historical event in history, the shock set in. Waves of God’s love poured over me like a waterfall. Pursuing his story and life emerged into a rush to learn everything I could about him. I grew up in a Christian family and church but never experienced anything like this before.

The best term to describe it was I was “smitten.”

God is so much more than what we see.

God is supernatural; his ways are far more than we will ever know.

God is our Father who loves us more than ever. He sent Jesus to give us that love.

God is not just an experience or a moment in time that changes us forever.

God is the center. God is the purest form of life there is. God makes sense when nothing else does.

Allow yourselves to pursue Jesus; reach into the sea of love he gave you when he died.

Allow Jesus to rock your world. He has certainly rocked mine.

churchgraphics.wordpress.com

Related articles

• Putting on Christ: Jim Caviezel on The Passion of the Christ (biltrix.com)
• http://mrkstevenson.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/the-garden-of-gethsemane/
• http://thefaithbook.wordpress.com/2012/04/06/the-cross/
• http://diasolifeontheborder.org/2012/04/05/my-struggle-with-good-friday/

Copyright @ 2012 All Rights Reserved

Polls of Betrayal

I never received that phone call. They have never called me. Who are they calling?

A box of Grape-Nuts cereal (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

No one has ever called me for an opinion poll.

Opinion polls are all over the internet now. They want answers to important issues. Click to vote. But who is voting? Do they care who is voting? No! But I want to be heard….

Yahoo usually has an opinion poll.  Questions like what was Kim Kardashian wearing yesterday or should Roseanne Barr run for President?

Sorry. Important as these issues are some demand our undivided attention.

Serious polls like:

“What do you eat for breakfast?” 1. Toast 2. Pop tart 3. Grape Nuts(Larry Who)

“Do you think Ashton and Demi should get back together?” 1. Yes. 2. No

Should Katie Couric work or stay home?” 1. Work 2.Stay home

“Did Nancy Pelosi break her blue cup?” 1. Yes   2. No

My assessment of life’s mysteries is worth considering. For instance:

What I eat for breakfast may not be any of those 3 unless you are with Larry Who who can’t live without his Grape Nuts.

I am divorced and was cheated on just like Demi. Maybe I could offer her some “womanly advice” on philandering bigamist husbands like Ashton.

Katie Couric seems like a nice lady.

Oh that “blue cup” Nancy Pelosi broke. I have one I can give her.

Modern day is no different from that of when Jesus walked on earth; people want to be heard and understood. The overwhelming command to be acknowledged or seen in high regard is a universal language even to the depths of betrayal and death.

Polls were taken amongst the hierarchy of the Pharisees and Scribes as to the fate of Jesus.

Mark 3:16 “Then the Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.”

The Pharisees handed Jesus over to the Roman Governor Pontius Pilate. His cowardly heart wanted nothing to do with the hanging of this man so he allowed the Jews to do it for him. As they screamed and taunted his name it was evident the answer to their poll was “Crucify him.”

John 19:16 “Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified.

As Jesus hung dying on a horrid cross, Roman soldiers beneath his feet were rolling dice to see who would win his robe.

John 19:23-24 “When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom.

 “Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.”

   This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled that said,

   “They divided my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.”

   So this is what the soldiers did.

I have difficulty imagining playing a game of any kind beneath a cross while anyone would be crucified, but my Lord?

If the Roman soldiers were told later he had risen, how did they feel? Was it the Roman Centurion who was impressed with Jesus as he watched him die that won the garment of one piece? If not, which one? Whoever won it, did they have any idea they may have received one of the most important pieces of fabric in history?

A poll decided who would take Jesus into custody.

A poll determined his fate by his own people.

A poll concluded which Roman Soldier won his undergarment.

How could a life be reduced to the numbers of a poll?

How could a life be so inconsequential his trial and sentence were determined by a rowdy crowd?

How could a life be so meaningless his clothing was considered a tossup?

That’s just it. His life wasn’t meaningless, inconsequential or reduced to nothing.

His life is the Alpha and Omega. The Lamb of God. The Prince of Peace.

Savior of the world. Jesus is all that matters. And he is risen.

churchgraphics.wordrpress.com

Related articles

• If You Ask, He Will Come (craigmotor.wordpress.com)
• http://lifeofafemalebiblewarrior.wordpress.com/2012/04/04/easter-weekend-on-the-horizon/
• http://identitylovefaith.wordpress.com/2012/04/04/the-hardest-part-70-times-7/
• http://jesuscarriesme.com/2012/04/04/jesus-arrest-a-kiss-a-sword-and-perfection/

Copyright @ 2012 All Rights Reserved

Todays News or is it just Heartburn?

Nothing surprises me anymore.

The world is in chaos.

Obama care is now attacking Catholics? Is that smart? Maybe they should pick on a smaller group of people. The Catholics are fighting back. YEA!

I just read where couples can  go to the Netherlands to the “Divorce Hotel” and in two days walk out divorced. I wonder if they sleep in the same room?

Then there is the article on “Show your pets some love.”  What about all those divorced couples who just left the “Divorce Hotel?” Don’t they need love now more than ever? Our cat is showered with love. OH, they want you to buy your pet a Valentine gift. What about me?

Of course there is the mess now with the Susan B. Komen organization. I have never given money to them and for sure I won’t now.

Image via Wikipedia

Don’t eat hot chili peppers. They cause heartburn. What? Like I didn’t know that? Anybody with half an esophagus has felt that heat!

Starbucks announces 12 drinks on their “secret menu.” A secret menu? Recipes from customers and employees that are kept quiet. LOT OF GOOD IT DOES ME! WE DON’T HAVE A STARBUCKS!

I know we need diversions from the everyday political drama, wars and infomercials,  but woe is us.

My cat is not getting a Valentine present.

Don’t need another divorce.

Don’t like hot chili peppers so I am off that hook.

Where, how much and to whom I donate is between God and me.

The discussion of contraception being sold by Catholics is not even up for discussion. or shouldn’t be.

“Starbucks?” well, I am just mad at them. The owner must not think my town is worth their coffee. So they have lost my business! oh, that’s right. We don’t have their business.

So this is today’s news. These are issues I read on the news wire.

Does anyone care about hot chili peppers as if they didn’t know they caused heartburn? And why would a divorce couple to be want to go to a “Divorce Hotel?” Does your pet know when Valentines day is? Do you think God cares what you do with the money he gives you? Do you think the government would like to be run by the Catholic church? Do you think Starbucks cares at all what I think?

News is not always news. Some issues are reasonable, some are useless pieces of information, others are necessary. Some are the result of a Godless society.

The days of “That’s the way it is” by Walter Cronkite are over. Days of unbiased, respectful news are long gone.

Image via Wikipedia

The political divide has taken over; and I for one want to see a different kind of news with a different kind of country.

The prognosticators speak as if they are God.  The media tell you what they want you to believe. You know the saying,

“What you hear most is what you will believe.”

If you aren’t careful, listening to the wrong things will take over your life. It is brainwashing. Manipulation.  Mind control.

Soaking your brain in a daily dose of the news can alter your thinking.

News is not the only limitation here. Entertainment, books, movies, tv are not excluded from mind control.

This is why we need to clothe ourselves with God’s word. The Bible is the truth. It sets us free.

The good news is the saying, “what you hear most is what you believe” can also be true of God’s word.

Instead of drenching yourselves in less than helpful news, or useless TV or movies, or music laced with vulgarities, why not read the Bible?

You will see the world differently. You will see yourself differently.

You might even get your pet a gift for Valentine’s Day.

Or better yet, you might get a call from Starbucks telling you they are coming to your town.

Image via Wikipedia

Copyright @ 2012 All Rights Reserved

All I Wanted Was Some Yogurt

Here we are the day after Christmas. It seems normal again. Not sure if that is good or not but it is what it is.

Image via Wikipedia

My list for a trip to Wal-Mart was ready even with my unwillingness to go. It is not my favorite hang out. Shopping there is out of necessity only.

In the back of my mind I thought, “I wonder if there are lines of people bringing presents to exchange?”  To my surprise, there weren’t many. In fact the store was not that crowded. Christmas must have been successful.

If Wal-Mart wasn’t over loaded with mundane, dissatisfied  customers who wanted to exchange that awful sweater for an even uglier pair of pants, Santa must have done his job despite the economy.

Now I want to complain.

Even though a flood of shoppers had not invaded the store, Wal-Mart had set up a rack of clothes a mile long in one of the aisles. Considering the large green carts and the in-considerate customers getting around this unsightly block of pajamas was like surfing in Nebraska.

Weaving in and out between colors of green, red and yellow I was drowning in a sea of smelly flannel. Memories of yesteryear flooded my intellect. My mother who was an excellent seamstress when I was a child made me go to the local pattern and material store so she could sew clothes  for money.  The minute you walked through the door you experienced a maze of every possible color God created. Along with the many shades and hue’s was a stench of fresh, new fabrics. Ugh. It made me sneeze and my eyes watered uncontrollably.

I am highly allergic to dust which I found out later in life. New fabric lends itself to excessive lent which is often accompanied by dust.

Fearing a recurring fit would invade my nose, I darted around people, carts and children. No one seem to care that I was running for my life. How do you explain to a bunch of after Christmas bargain hunters that I needed to escape this cataclysmic heap of flannel?

All of a sudden I found myself locked in a claustrophobic trap. People were not moving. Blocked in by screaming kids, carts full of more flannel, and displays of cosmetics I wanted to scream “let me out of here!”

Now this is where a Christian attitude should kick in. Instead of staying calm and peaceful, I stood there waiting with what I am sure was a face of impatient disgust. Did anyone care? No!  The bargain hunters wandered through the rack of pajamas cluttering up the pathway of the aisle keeping those of us disinterested in flannel from going about our shopping business.

In case you haven’t  figured this out, I don’t enjoy shopping; at least not anymore. The reasons why are for another day.

After a few more moments of blocked traffic I yelled, “EXCUSE ME!”  That got their attention. They moved out of my way.

Image via Wikipedia

Rather please with my authority I rode off into the free world of pet food, yogurt and sweet potatoes. Feeling free without watery eyes I went through the check out and left.

On the way home I thought, ‘hmmm, is it me or are people in general in-considerate?” Was I wrong for expressing myself in such a vocal cord?

No, I think there are many people who just aren’t wired to code. Their antenna’s are pointing in the wrong direction.

They are about as bright as a burnt out 20 watt light bulb.

Maybe I will suggest they ask God to  help them become one of those 60 watt light bulbs I wrote about yesterday.  If they insist on blocking traffic in the women’s underwear department of Wal-Mart, at least they could be a shining light for God while doing it.

Copyright 2011 Did Jesus Have a Facebook Page, All Rights Reserved

A New Year With Light Bulb Moments

The end of the day. Santa is resting. Children are playing. Parents are wiped out as are the grandparents who stayed up with the parents putting together the latest Rose Petal Cottage and the new….Lego Mindstorm NXT.

I know when I was a child,  Barbie was an easy buy. At least mom and dad didn’t have to assemble her.

Christmas sets the stage for a New Year. We have aspirations of great ideas, new inventions and a better government. (lol) The news rolls the tapes on the best movie, obituaries of famous people and presently, Occupy Wall Street. For the most part, much is negative and destructive as the earthquake that hit Japan this past year and the tornadoes that ripped through the south. I have to stop this, I am getting depressed.

Our hopes and dreams of a fresh new year come with a cost. Avoiding the mindset of the world is the only way to view the year ahead from a positive standpoint. Acquiring a thought process we can live with is through Jesus. Focusing on the evil will only result in a cluttered brain full of trash, dust and filth.

Image via Wikipedia

Lately the Lord has been expressing to me his desire for his people to be “light” including me. I have never thought about that much but it makes sense. We need only to be a “candle in the wind” or a night light to make a difference.

First things first though. We need to examine ourselves to see how we can be a light in this next year. Just as a light bulb works, if it is dirty it needs to be wiped off. If it doesn’t work, it needs to be replaced. So it is with us.

Maybe our hearts need to be replaced with the heart of God. Maybe our minds need to be refreshed with the Word of God. Maybe our view of the world needs adjustment. Who knows, maybe we need to take a good, hot shower and start over.

Personally, I have been doing some serious “cleaning out” for the last few years. The mold God made for me was crumbling from sitting on the shelf. God made the effort to shake the dust off of it so I could see just how much clay he needed to use to repair it. When he first started he had to make a quick trip to Wal-mart for some more clay because he didn’t have enough. That kind of bothered me.

The more he shaped my mold, the more it hurt at times. Losing discontentment, years of resentment and offenses was not easy. These were a few of the cracked pieces of clay I had held onto for a long time. The cracks of many more miseries may still be noticeable, but are not as deep or long.  God’s gentle hands have moistened those cracks so the mold is looking more like he designed it to be from the beginning. The mold holds the light he wants me to shine.

So, for the year to come, that is my New Year’s Resolution. I rarely make those but feel the need to outline this one.

My prayer is to be at least a 60 watt bulb. I would like to grow into a 75 watt bulb but I know God will have to add more clay to hold up that light. That might hurt some more but God will equip me if he thinks I am ready.

Instead of revolting against the mainstream pettiness, misunderstandings and critical comments, I want to immediately turn on the light bulb with the switch God has attached to my pot of clay and react differently. How?

By allowing those pains to roll off of me. Shoving them out of my plastered dreams of revenge or ravaged thoughts of “why me Lord?”
Humbling myself to walk in peace when there is no peace around. I want to be different.

The great advantage to the pots of clay that God creates is he has his stamp on the bottom of each one. He even shows us how to turn on the light switch.

Copyright 2011 Does Jesus Have a Facebook Page.  Not for publication without author’s permission.

It’s Christmas Dinner At My Uncle’s House, So Who Are These People?

My Parents

Family on my dad’s side come together for a Christmas Meal usually about a week before Christmas. We just returned from a house full at my Uncle’s.   I filled up on  Honey Baked Ham, macaroni and cheese, green beans, sweet potato casserole, potato salad, something else that was on my plate that I can’t remember. Dessert was home made banana pudding.

Over the years we have lost some dear family members and added some new. Some were missing today due to living elsewhere, recovering from exams, throwing their own party or watching the Panthers actually….I won’t say it.

From my great mathematics ability I counted about 25 of us there. Had all attended, the count would have been over 30. This was a landmark for us because last year at this time my dad was recovering from his 2nd surgery in 6 months and was unable to attend.  He is now the oldest of this group at the age of 85.  He lost his older brother in November 2010 to a heart attack. His 2 younger brothers were there; one a retired Presbyterian Minister and the other one who is a bachelor with all the money.

We are all so use to each other it is as if we pick up right where we left off especially for those like me who live 3 hours away. I was in college with my brother and  2 cousins all at the same time. While I was the freshman, my cousins were both Juniors and my brother was a Senior. We had one car between the 4 of us. Re-phrase: There was one car between the three of them because they never let me use it.  I made a point to remind them how this lack of transportation affected my college experience. None were the least bit sympathetic of their outright devotion to the ugliest brown Dodge Monaco on the planet. This boat of a car managed to get them to the “water hole” as it was called for useful time spent on one of 2 pinball machines and some very nasty beverages.  The “water hole” was a corner gas station that offered or still offers a place for the students to hang out in what I would describe as the usual dump. As the typical family feud over the car continued, they blamed each other for leaving me out on the street.

My Cousin Rick

All enjoyed our time together along with a great meal. Conversations rendered themselves to who is doing what, where and why and why isn’t everyone who is suppose to be there not there? After the meal some sat and yawned ready for their afternoon nap, others flew out the door to catch what was left of the Panthers game while others were in the kitchen cleaning up.

I looked around and saw faces that had aged, bellies that had grown and  kids that use to be shorter than me who were now in or out of college that I didn’t recognize.

Standard posture for our family who is close in proximity and heart. When you see each other all the time it doesn’t take long to be together except for those of us who live elsewhere. From one who lives 3 hours away it gives family a whole new meaning.

I am blessed to be a part of a group knit together as we are even in our differences. As the saying goes, “we are blood related” and it is thick.

God in his great mercy gave me a blood line tracing back to the 1700′s that I know of. The intricacies and interwoven connections are indisputably God’s doing. There is no way that my family came out of some “big bang theory.”

Gregg, My Sister Mary Anne and Vicki

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, But Will He Come To Your House?

Let’s just  ask ourselves a question. Have you been good enough this past year to warrant Santa coming to your house?

I can already hear the “Ummmm,,,,,well,,,,,,maybe?” What is the definition of good? According to Merriam Webster dictionary it is

“A favorable character or tendency, agreeable, fit, suitable, pleasant, virtuous, right, kind, benevolent, commendable….etc.” Did you get the picture? or should I draw one? No, then you really wouldn’t get it.

Growing up I never once thought I wasn’t good enough to get presents from anyone, much less Santa. Had that happened I would have been seriously offended. I was a terrible liar, always ate my dinner, and was the perfect daughter. Why wouldn’t I be good enough? (please don’t contact my parents for confirmation on this or I will find you.)

In my little mind, I did wonder about some of my friends. There were these two boys who lived across the street who were always mean, rude and had big mouths. No one liked them.

I could include my older brother. He never let me play with his toys especially his baseball caps and gun and holster set. He never let me go in his room. He was mean and always wanted to fight. I didn’t like him too much either.

My cousin who was also older always picked on me. He wasn’t mean but made fun of how short I was. I knew something wasn’t right with him when he brought home a baby alligator and made it his pet. His parents were not too happy about this. He had this huge wash pan he would fill up with water for the alligator to stay in. Then one hot summer day he went to check on him only to find he had dried up from lack of water and died.

So far my family is not fairing very well in the “good” department.

There are many religions floating around who expect people to be good enough for whatever it is they offer. I am so glad I don’t belong to any of those. As perfect as I may be I still wouldn’t be good enough.

How can that be? How can a particular religion decide who is good enough and who isn’t? And may I ask who does the deciding? Once the decision is made what is their reward? So many questions.

Is it someone who is better than the rest of us? Have they passed all of the tests? For that matter who wrote the tests? Whoosh. I am exhausted just thinking about how stressful that must be.

Following Jesus doesn’t require us to be “good enough.” We will never be good enough except through him. We have the option to accept him and his deliverance or take a very long trip to Hell, Michigan. http://hell2u.com. Hope you got that one. If not, let me know and I will explain.

Jesus came to save us. Not just some of us. All of us. And he doesn’t expect you to be perfect when you ask. In fact, he meets us where we are. Doesn’t matter what we have done or when we did it. If we all had to be perfect to ask, I guess no one would get in the pearly gates. That should tell you something.

While you ponder the difference between Christianity and those other religions, remember this. No other religion offers a Savior who died for you. No other religion can save you. No other religion offers the Love of God like our Heavenly Father. No other religion accepts you as you are.

No other religion has Jesus.

Do you know a Secret Santa?

I just watched a movie titled “Secret Santa.” A story about a journalist who has been given an assignment to find the Secret Santa. A man who worked in a nursing home for years had been left with money from those who died. The first time he received a gift, he decided he couldn’t keep it for himself so he started making toys, gifts and bequeathing the money each year at Christmas to unsuspecting souls in need. No one knew who played this grand part except the local lawyer, until the journalist stumbles upon him in his backyard workshop. As she walked in she saw all kinds of toys, bicycles, and presents. She knew she had found him. She wrote her story without revealing this beloved man’s dream of fulfilling others dreams.

Would you be able to keep a secret like that? Would you be able to live with yourself for revealing such an anonymous gift?  Or would you want to get the credit by announcing to the world, “I know who Secret Santa is,” even if it meant it had to stop if you opened your big mouth?

When I found out the truth about Santa Claus I was devastated. My best friend told me and she couldn’t believe I didn’t already know. I ran in the house and confronted my mother who tried to calm me down. When she confessed the truth I started crying because I really didn’t want to know the truth. I wanted to believe in this fantasy as long as I could because if the fantasy wasn’t real it would change everything. And it did.

Isn’t this the way many people think about Christ? Some may think he is a fantasy or some man who walked on the earth for 33 years and did a lot of miracles but he wasn’t the Savior.

I have had conversations with  people who doubt because if they were to believe in Jesus Christ, they would have to change everything they believe in, think, or do. The thought of having to admit they have been wrong about their entire life is more exhausting and prideful than for them to change.

Image by busy.pochi via Flickr

Oh, if they only knew. Once you sin, repent and become saved you don’t have to change; you want to change. The change becomes a natural walk with God led by his guidance and peace. A change that is automatic because you choose to serve God with your whole heart that has been filled with his unconditional love. Once you make up your mind to accept it, the change becomes your way of life.

God, the Angels in Heaven and Jesus may be singing for joy that another one who was lost has been found, but we don’t announce it on the loud speakers here on earth. Or maybe we should.

Christmas Has Arrived: At least in Retail

Black Friday should be re-named “Christmas Zoo.”  Crazy people lined up for hours in the freezing cold waiting to get a deal. Don’t they know God is the deal? If they would spend a little time everyday with the Creator of the Universe they would get what they need and at a much better price.

The media is all over the stories of people running all over each other, some fighting to get in the doors first to get something free. How can that be free? Freedom to me on Black Friday is waking up to a great cup of coffee with God. My husband is hunting. yuk.

I have heard some of the best deals in retail are not on Black Friday. 2 weeks before Christmas and of course after Christmas is when the real deals show up. I do not like crowds; not that I am against them but who wants to be among a bunch of people who slept outside and have most likely not had a shower? ugh. 

Philipians 4:19 is one of my favorite Bible verses. “And my God shall provide all of our needs in his riches in glory in Jesus Christ.” Do you think God was talking about Wal-Mart?

God’s riches for us are in Heaven. I wonder if he has stores with our names on them. That would be pretty cool. Mine could be named, “Naphtali‘s Provisions.”  Whenever we need something we could just go to our store and ask for it. Oh. Isn’t that what the Bible says anyway while we are on this earth? John 14:14 says, “You can ask me for anything in my name and I will do it.” If that is so easy why are people running around in a major competition today trying to beat someone else out of a crockpot they saw on sale? 

I am perfectly content to be alone today except that I am not alone. Ever. God is always with me. I also like to be with me. Years of trying to figure out who I was or am are over. And I am ok with me. Joyce Meyer has put it this way. “You may as well enjoy being with yourself, because everywhere you go, you are there. You can’t get away from you.”

Our Dining Room Table: Christmas Tea

Today I am doing a little cleaning and some decorating while James Bond entertains me with his action and gadgets. Hassle free, no crowds and don’t have to worry about the deals I think I am missing. I already have the best deal in town. He is Jesus Christ, my Savior, Master, Lord, the Lamb of God, King, Prince of Peace, and most of all, my best friend.

Image via Wikipedia

Shopping on Thanksgiving! No!

Yes. We did. We went shopping on Thanksgiving day. I don’t believe I ever did that. It seemed unholy. Almost secular. Not normal.

Since it was the two of us, my husband and I, we had our turkey around noon and decided to take this unusual outing. Few stores were open; most were closed. That made me feel a little better; almost like it used to be. But today it is a different place and a different time.

There were not enough cashiers and the ones working had a look on their face of “I don’t want to be here.” I don’t blame them. Maybe Thanksgiving was sacred to them but they needed the job. Maybe they had mouths to feed so they sacrificed their life long belief that you just don’t work on Thanksgiving to put food on their table. Maybe they were going to be alone on this day, so they  decided to work to fill the emptiness. Whatever the reason, I am not sure I like  the stores being open on this national day of thanks; no one knocked on my door asking for my opinion on the matter anyway.

I felt better that we bought some items for 2 children for Christmas that may be the only presents they receive. Finding a positive note to cover my guilt was prevalent in my thinking so I rationalized it. You know, giving is the point but not if it is out of a guilty trip to the store.

I don’t consider myself to be traditional except in a few ways. Pomp and ceremony are a part of life I avoid except holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas. They were etched in a traditional stone when I was a child, but now almost being the blacksheep most of those traditions were broken years ago. Not by choice; mostly by circumstances out of my control.

Most of my family have never had to be away from each other at any time like I have. They have no idea what it is like to be alone on 2 of the most important days of the year. But I do. I understand the single mother exhausted from working and raising children by herself to the point she could care less what day it is. I know the intense pain of wondering if my family misses me because I am not there. I know what it is like to be sick and unable to join in the festivities because there is no one to drive me the distance to get me there.  My heart ached years ago when I first broke tradition even when I wasn’t trying to.

Now, the pain has subsided to, “this is the way it is so just accept it.” I have gotten use to it, but I don’t think my family ever will because they don’t understand since they have not walked in my shoes.

Finally, the truth is I have learned many lessons from being alone, and far away from my roots. I don’t get lonely anymore because Jesus has filled it with himself.

He has taught me how others who did not have a rose colored childhood like I did the misery of going through a holiday without.

He has allowed us to open our home to others who normally would be alone and enjoy a meal together in the name of God.

He has shown me that traditions can be broken and often must be broken so his children can receive his love in the midst of the loss.

He has healed my wounds and given me a passion to reach out to fill the need of someone else instead of thinking of me.

He has made me a much stronger child of God with a dependence on him I would not have discovered if I had never left the nest.

It is always worth the loss when you find God where you least expect him.